導語
2021屆畢業生的申請季已經在悄悄拉開帷幕。你是否擔憂自己使出渾身解數夸獎夢校的成功，用盡畢生文采證明自己的優秀，卻只能等來一張大學發來的“好人卡”，附帶一段無情又不失委婉的拒絕：“你很優秀，但是我們不合適”。其實，作為成績單，活動列表，標花成績，獎項等硬核客觀材料之外的主觀項目，文書中表達自己的性格和個性才是名校申請臨門一腳的精髓。如何寫出自己獨有的情操，錚錚的傲骨，亦或平凡的熱忱？一起來看哈佛大學mark的優秀文書，體會一下“卓越的大佬”是如何展露自己那顆有趣的靈魂的。
1. 學生信息
姓名：Samantha--亞裔，女生
所在地區：韓國首爾
高中背景：私立高中，應屆畢業生400人左右
成績：
GPA4.0/4.0；
SAT閱讀800，數學800；
SATII數學Level2，化學，物理
課外活動：
1. 科研項目：在（韓國）江原國立大學的野生動物生態與保護基因組學實驗室進行馬鐵菊頭蝠相關研究項目
Research in greater horseshoe bats at Wildlife Ecology and Conservation Genomics Lab (Kangwon National University)
2. 韓國擊劍社創始人，社長
Korean archery club founder and president
3. “夢想與行動”志愿者項目副社長
Dream and Act Volunteer Club vice president
4. 模擬法庭比賽 Mock Trial
獎項：
1. 年度最佳學生獎 Ji In Yong award (given to the best student of the year)
2. 韓國青少年射箭錦標賽三等獎 Third prize in National Youth Korean Archery Championship
3. 美國國家優異獎學金半決賽 U.S. National Merit Scholarship semifinalist
申請專業
Integrative Biology 綜合生物學
2.
文書原文
ESSAY
Language is not the sole domain of humans. Animals also talk, and over the last few years I have been fascinated by learning two new languages that even foreign language school students have never heard of. Studying animal languages is very different from learning Korean, Chinese, or Spanish. There are always dictionaries to refer to when I learn human languages, but when learning animal languages I don't have a Google translator to spit out satisfactory answers. In fact, I have to use my own judgment, which combines my mind, heart, and instinct to interpret what I hear.
Tree frogs, specifically Japanese tree frogs and Suweon tree frogs, use songs not just to express their amorous intentions but to survive. While these two species may look physically identical, they are sexually incompatible. So in order to lure the right female, male frogs sing serenades that are distinguishable from other species. Analyzing these serenades at an ecology lab with spectrograms and waveforms, I decoded every pulse of sounds emitted by these ravenous tree frogs into the patterns of numbers to let humans understand their lyrics.
Unlike frogs' mating songs, bats use language not only to communicate but also to navigate and locate insects at night. While flying, bats shoot out biosonar sounds and listen to the echoes that bounce off obstacles to grasp the world around them. Visualizing a world just with sound, I was enchanted by their invisible language when I studied the Greater Horseshoe bat's supersonic echolocation at a wildlife conservation lab. When bats cast nets of invisible words every millisecond during free flight and ziplining experiments, we captured and revealed their dialogue that had neither conjugations nor grammar.
After eavesdropping on tree frogs' and bats' conversations, I discovered that they use languages for survival. The language of the frogs exemplifies power — the stronger and bigger a frog is, the louder it can sing, scaring off all its prey and bravely exposing itself to predators. And for bats, their invisible language is their vision. They silently scream out for help and listen carefully as nature's echoes guide their path. In a sense, animals communicate with other species and with nature.
On the other hand, humans have developed esoteric words, convoluted sentences, and dialects to express their sophisticated ideas and feelings. This amazing evolution has, I believe, isolated us from nature. Now we prefer to live away from wildlife, tending to communicate only among other Homo sapiens through texts, tweets, and e-mails. Taking a page from Dr. Dolittle's pocket diction, I hope that my work helps us broaden our anthropocentric minds and understand animals who also share our biosphere. If our souls are reconnected with nature, maybe we could hear Mother Nature whisper some secrets about her mysteries that we are too wired or unaware to heed.
Early explorers boldly left the comforts of their homeland to learn the languages and traditions of other cultures. Due to their dedication, these self-taught bilinguals were able to bridge cultures and share values between different communities. In the same way, I want to take risks in learning to communicate with other species beyond human beings and become a multilingual biologist who connects human and animal realms. I wish to venture into the animal kingdom and become a pioneer in mastering and sharing nature's occult dialects with our species. When we finally learn to comprehend and harmonize with nature, we humans might become more humane.
3. 文書點評
申請者想要展示自己學習動物語言這一主題，往往很難在除文書外的其他申請材料中呈現。Samantha在文書選材上，選擇對這個細節進行描述，不僅使她這項獨特的學術興趣更加生動鮮活，還很好的表達了她對于人類語言和動物語言之間關系的深刻思考。
在大學的申請文書當中，沒完沒了的嘮叨一些學術性很強的內容并不是一個很好的策略。因此Samantha聰明地將她的學術知識和自我思考與趣味十足的故事編織在了一起。此外，她并沒有籠統的表述自己對生物或者科學的整體興趣，而是選擇了一項正好需要一定的學術背景來支撐的一個“精致”的科學故事。在詳談對特定學術課題的探究的同時，她也在闡述自己對于課題的獨特見解上運用了同樣多的篇幅，包括反思以“人類“為中心的文明進程，表達自己愿意在動物王國探險，解鎖大自然的神秘語言，掌握多種物種的語言和文化，成為重建人類與自然母親的聯結道路上的先驅。這種領袖氣質和格局與培養了8位美國總統和133位諾貝爾獎得主（世界第一）的哈佛大學非常契合。
Samantha打動讀者的秘訣在于她對于自己興趣清晰又充滿熱情的講述。其中，她形容動物語言的措辭十分巧妙。比如，在形容蝙蝠的語言時，她通過“連詞和語法”來講原本看似平常的動物行為擬人化，突出了整篇文書的亮點。而后，她在文末點出對于人與動物之間脫節的思考，并表達重新連接人與動物之間關系的志向，更賦予她先前使用擬人化手法更深刻的含義，刷新了文章立意的高度。這篇文書在題材新穎討巧的基礎上，通過鮮明的表達手法和作者直截了當的熱情成功地給讀者留下深刻且生動的印象。
4. 主顧問點評
Samantha的文書雖然講到了“動物語言”這一很專業的方面，但讀起來卻很輕松。
很多申請人容易在寫作自己的學術或者研究經歷的文書時落入一個又一個的誤區：花了過多的篇幅解釋自己的研究內容，然后講自己是怎樣廢寢忘食的投入學習。為什么說是誤區？因為你的學術能力和學習熱情可以通申請材料中的成績、獎項等部分得到證明，所以在文書中更多的應該是展現個人的理解，收獲和反思等。
Samantha的文章結構非常合理，文章并不長，571個單詞，開頭清晰的點出動物語言研究的主題，隨后兩段用了樹蛙和蝙蝠的兩個例子來展示對于動物語言的多角度研究，然后過渡到對比動物語言、人類語言與自然的關系。另外Samantha的整個寫作并沒有采用華麗的語言和復雜的詞匯，跟她的整個人設也很符合：她的GPA和標化成績顯示了她是一名理科學霸小姐姐，語言清晰易讀體現了整體的一致性。
精彩的文書絕對是申請的加分項，但是大家還是要始終牢記申請硬件的重要性哦！
總結
本篇文書的作者并沒有在選材上跳出她申請專業的范疇，而是在這個大范圍下，通過細節描寫與獨特的角度單刀直入的表達自己的學業和思考，坦然道來自己對未來的期待。比起華麗的語言和感嘆，她踏實又熱情的寫出了對于自己專業和特長的熱愛，給人很真實的感受。
無論你在沖刺挑戰重重的夢校，還是適合自己的match校，你都將和全世界各地優秀學生同臺競爭。在硬件（在校成績、標化成績、競賽獎項等）條件上，總有和你一樣優秀，甚至更加優秀的學生，當然也總有和你存在差距的學生。拋開焦慮，在文書中真誠自信的表達你最關心的話題，凸顯出“你這個人”的風格和特質，通常會帶來意想不到的驚喜。就像招生官說的：當你已經闖過了申請材料審核的前兩關之后，這時我腦海里在想的是——你是怎樣的一個人（as a person）？
那么，申請準備階段的成績和活動如何平衡，校內校外考試與競賽之間如何合理規劃，為自己的文書更好的增添素材？只有成功的感受和經驗才值得寫在文書里？英國和加拿大學校也有文書？
更多文書指導和留學長線規劃，歡迎掃描下方二維碼添加小蓋咨詢專業顧問！
